Without the love

。。。

一次又一次的失败带来的是失望，自卑还有眼泪...
可是，我却不想认输..

Never Expect, Never Assume, Never Demand..

Suddenly feel like updating my blog today. hehe.. Busy day but had a great talk with a friend while having dinner together. We were talking about how good things happen when u least expect it so that is why i'm learning not to put too much expectation on certain things. I'll just do my best and let God decide whats best for me. After all man proposes, God disposes. ;) Someone's probably not gonna agree with me but thats what i believe in. I do things my way and I am trying my best even thought i have no idea what it leads me to but at least i tried right. I know that i might be a little selfish sometimes but i guess it's ok to be a little selfish sometimes >< not always tho.

“In the blink of an eye, something happens by chance - when you least expect it - sets you on a course that you never planned, into a future you never imagined.” Nicholas Sparks

Smile :)

I have abandoned my blog for the last two month since i came to Glasgow. Finally have the mood and time to update my blog today after my exam :) I have been here for two months already time really passed without people realising it. I have a lot of fun here experiencing and exploring new things really enjoy my time here with friends. It's summer here so the weather is really good with sun and a little rain sometimes. One more thing i love about Glasgow is that the people here are really nice and friendly. :D I can't wait for all my friends to come join us in the next semester! Miss them so much. hehe <3 I'm so gonna enjoy my time here with all my friends but i'm gonna miss home too >< miss my mummy and daddy! Hope they take care of themselves and wait for me at home ya :D Ohya, tomorrow gonna be my first trip to Europe with my friends! First destination, Paris!! I'm gonna forget all the other things and enjoy the trip! Keep smiling! :)

“In the end, just three things matter:

How well we have lived
How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go”

― Jack Kornfield

Boy vs Man

 I was randomly clicking on link that was shared on Facebook and i found this very interesting post which i feel like sharing it on my blog. So here it is. :)

The Differences Between Dating a Boy vs a Man

When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. You could say I was addicted to the bad boy/ unavailable boy/ player. I was drawn to what psychotherapist, Ken Page terms as “attractions of deprivation” – when we are drawn to people who embody the worst emotional characteristics of our parents. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending.

“The child in us believes that if the original perpetrators — or their current replacements — finally change their minds, apologize, or make up for that terrible rupture of trust, we can escape from our prison of unworthiness. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children.”  - Psychology Today

So games used to work on me because 1) I had unresolved daddy issues and 2) At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth.

But somewhere in between the passing of a decade, something changed.

I learned to love myself.  I became independent, confident, and started to value my self-worth. I went through hardships and heartbreaks and picked myself back up which built my strength and courage. Instead of relying on beauty as my source of empowerment, I focused on basing my empowerment on my intelligence, successes, values, contributions to the world and how I helped others. In a sense, I finally grew up. I went from being a girl to becoming a woman. And as a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you are as a girl.

A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up.

If you are a girl (lack independence, are ruled by insecurity, lack self-respect, throw tantrums, have princess syndrome, don’t have strong values or boundaries and can’t hold yourself on your own) then expect that you will attract only boys. However, if you are a woman (independent, ambitious, knows your worth and value, has a strong moral compass, is considerate and an able communicator and doesn’t let insecurity dominate your psyche), then you should be dating a man. And if you can’t spot the difference just yet, here are some pointers.

1. A man knows what he wants, and goes for it. A boy may have somewhat of an idea, but not really. He doesn’t think too much about it, and even if he does, doesn’t exert much effort to get it. A boy is passive, a man is assertive.

2. A man plans for his future and is working towards building a foundation and infrastructure in order to have a family (at some point in his life).  A boy lives only in the moment and his plans are mostly around which bar he’s going to hit up on the weekend.

3. A man looks for a woman with intelligence, who is supportive, grounded and encompasses a shared set of values when choosing a partner. A boy cares mostly only for girls who are hot, wild and exciting.

4. A man knows a good woman when he meets one and will take initiative to get to know her. A boy may make an attempt if you’re lucky, but gives up before ever really trying.

5. A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.

6. A man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet. A boy is always “testing” – he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in.

7. A man knows how to have a good time and be social, but is often busy making strides in his career and building his life. A boy is getting crunk with his buddies at the bar every weekend.

8. A man takes the time to reflect on the type of man he wants to be, the example he wants to leave and the vision for his life. He has put thought into his values. A boy has not established his moral compass or values and consequently, is often inconsistent.

9. A man has integrity. He means what he says, and says what he means. He has follow through and actions his promises. And if he can’t he has the guts to tell you why. A boy makes promises but doesn’t follow through.

10. A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

Now, a lot of these differences require taking the time to know someone to figure out if the apple of your eye is indeed a man, or a mere boy. However, one of the quickest filters that you can notice from the beginning is this:

11. A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.

Here's the link to the original post 

http://amyfabulous.com/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/ ;)

Life goes on...

As time goes by, everything change, everyone change and i started to doubt myself wondering if i did something wrong? is it my fault? am i not good enough? I knew that there will be no answer to my question but i just can't help thinking about it over and over again. In the end, i stopped questioning and trying hard to tell myself that maybe thing just weren't meant to be. People comes and goes, and i guess that's life.

"We name time when we say: everything has its time. 
This means: everything which actually is, every being comes and goes at the right time and remain for a time during the time allotted to it. Everything has its time". Martin Heidegger 

我失望可是却很平静...

我没有忘记你 :p

First of all, let me sing u a birthday song. haha.. Happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to boon yi mei mei~ happy birthday to you~~ :D It's your 22nd birthday!!! and mine soon... ><' 岁月真是不饶人呀~ haizzz.. 我们都老了.. lol.. (but don't worry you are always 18 in my eyes. hehe..) Time passes so quickly and we have known each other for 2 years without realising it. :)  I still remember how we met for the first time and how we always share our feelings and problems on the way back home together. haha..Thanks for believing in me boon boon. :) I really enjoy sharing my thoughts and feelings with you and the other girls (you know who you are). ;) I wish that we will continue trusting each other and maintaining our friendship. Remember not to bottled up your emotions and i will always be there to listen to your problems. ^^ ohya, and most importantly, sharing gossip. haha.. and that's what friends are for. :D

Alright, my wishes for you this year get a good husband, stay young and healthy forever. haha.. *wink*wink* ;)

 

Happy birthday my dear boon boon. :)

p.s : finally i can be a cat here. haha :p